Top Wedding Invitation FAQs: The Guest List

Q. We are both marrying for the second time. Is it still acceptable to send out formal wedding invitations?
A. Yes, your second (or even third) wedding can be heralded in formal fashion, with a beautiful invitation.

Q. My guest list won’t accommodate all of my co-workers. What can I do?
A. Above all, be discreet. Rather than inviting just a few and risking hurt feelings, limit the wedding to family and close friends and host an open house in your new home later to introduce your co-workers to your new husband. Beware of posting an invitation on the company bulletin board, which suggests an open invitation for anyone who reads it, unless that is your intention.

Q. I have heard of couples who make a “B List” of potential guests. Is that tacky?
A. Designating a separate list of invitees is acceptable, as long as their invitations do not arrive less than four weeks before the wedding. No one likes to be second choice. But if you have an extensive guest list and several people decline right away, then move ahead to Plan B.

Q. Is it necessary to invite the spouse of every guest?
A. Yes, the spouses of your friends and family members should always be included, whether or not you know them well.

Q. Is it ever acceptable to include “and guest” on a wedding invitation”
A. It is always best to research the name of the guest so that he or she can be extended a separate invitation. On a less formal invitation, however, the inner envelope can be addressed “Ms. Williams and guest.” If it reads simply “Ms Williams,” she should know she is not expected to bring an escort. If this is the case and she pursues the issue, simply say that your wedding budget did not allow for extra people.

Q. Is it necessary to invite everyone to both the ceremony and reception?
A. Yes, all guests should be included at both events unless you plan a very intimate ceremony with just immediate family. If that’s the case, you should send separate reception invitations to other family members and friends.

Q. We have decided not to include children at our wedding. What should I do if someone adds a child’s name to the response card and it is obvious that they plan to bring them along?
A. If one of your guests feels compelled to add their child’s name to the response card even though the child’s name did not appear on the invitation envelope, have your mother or close friend or relative explain the situation as tactfully as possible. your reason for excluding children can be as simple as a limited budget.

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